“This itself is the whole of the journey, opening your heart to that which is lovely.” – Buddha

We start the New Year off with the premiere of  The Bachelor with our boy Ari .Ari is a former race car driver trying to find love among 29 woman  who are trying to get their own show as next season's Bachelorette.

We get a recap of Ari’s appearance a few years back. We watch his moment  being kicked to the curb as Bachelorette Emily chose a guy named Jef ( yes, jef with one F) to get the final rose.  The relationship Jef with one F lasted about a week and a half  and we have doubts they ever found the other F.  

Over the past seasons we were reminded Ari  was “out there” chatting up chicks in Scottsdale  with the threat  he might  be back as The Bachelor.

Indeed, Ari is back. We learn he augments his race-car driver life  working as a real estate salesman in Scottsdale , Arizona -one of my favorite places. I am hoping they find time to show us some property . Given our weather Scottsdale looks really good to me. After we “catch up” on our boy who is now late 36 or so  we are set to meet our lady contestants. The producers open with Chelsea ,a single mom from Portland, Maine where the temperatures hit -17 this week. Scottsdale must look good to her.

Chelsea

In her little feature, Chelsea showed virtually no concern for her kid and flashed  what seemed to me was a bit of anger at her circumstance. She seems as if she is preparing  to win a cage match as opposed to ‘find love”.  I imagine she has been contemplating  going “Full Jack Reacher” on the other ladies to clear the field . I immediately nominate Chelsea:  “ Most likely to be a bunny boiler”.

If Chelsea showed up at my house I would hide the knives! Be a great nickname for her "Hide the Knives!" 

Up next, we meet California girl Kendell who is presented  playing a ukulele while sitting in a tree with the audience of stuffed seal, as our girl is into taxidermy.

Kendell

Ok - producers you have all but put a Villain sign on Chelsea and right away  we meet the crazy chick-  I wanted to have to work a bit harder to figure who would be carrying the ball for us. The producers  have felt they need to tee this up for us . They likely do not recognize “the old white guy ”  demographic which is trained to do some rigorous analysis and pick out the crazy chicks.

I tend to not like names spelled creatively. It makes me doubt if the parents are literate or if they are then maybe too stoned to get the spelling right. First impressions! Anyway harboring this  bias,  we meet a  perky young girl who is a mountain climber with the name “Bekah” . Don’t you love the description of perky? how can you not like perky? I will focus on perky and bypass ranting about spelling of kids names. She had not say in that decision.   

When Ari is chatting Bekah up, I get  the uncomfortable  feeling  Ari is like a  movie dad talking to the babysitter – and we ALL know how that movie turns out . Bekah, the only chick of the 29 contestants  with short hair , surprises me by asking Ari to identify three things  that excite him.  I think it speaks well of her energy for living and fits with the mountain climbing stuff. But Ari fumbles the question and responds with “excitement” - wait Ari – “excitement “excites you?? Ari, that is the best you can come up with? Yikes we could be in for  a long season. Ari recovers somewhat and Bekah allow him some wiggle room while Ari blurts out "adrenalin" which we take to mean what race car drivers who sell real estate feel. OK- we give Ari a pass  there given he likely has not had any multiple choice questions tossed at him for a while.

After all, it is the premiere and all, so we give him a chance to get his footing ( yes a sneaky  mountaineering reference - glad you caught it- I am just getting into shape for this season too) but then he follows up with Pizza as the Number 2 seed on his leaderboard for excitement. Jeez no wonder Jef won despite having one F.  I think we will see more of young Bekah. Probably  dining with Ari at a Rays' pizza.

Bekah

To help things go smoothly the producers wheel out another  Becca but mercifully this one spells her name differently- - little did we know this was a bit of foreshadowing.

We do have a candidate who opens with an audition to get a gig in a shampoo commercial.  Maquel from Utah arrives at the mansion with in a race car with  racing  helmet. She takes off the helmet and then takes about 3 minutes to shake out here mane and let everyone in Bachelor Nation get a good long look at her hair. For a moment there i thought we were in a nature show and the lioness was showing off here mane.

 

Maquel

As the ladies arrive at the mansion  to meet our boy we  are introduced to Lauren S a social media manager from Texas. She has a nice smile for Ari and I seed her in the top 4 on first sight.   First impressions count !

Up next is  Lauren  B who looks a lot like Lauren S.  Hmm.   But wait there’s more!!  

Up next  is Lauren G, our third Lauren  who opens the window of Lauren Roulette for Ari. But wait, there  is even more !!!!  we next meet Lauren J from California.    There is a whole TEAM of Laurens . Let's hope the hometowns is not all four Laurens.

Lauren S

Lauren B

Lauren G 

Lauren S

 I can see this chat:

Chris Harrison: Well Ari you had a wonderful time with Lauren J . Is she a favorite for the final rose?

Ari: The final rose??? Ha   she is not even a favorite for the final Lauren.

One other note: there is another realtor in the pool. Caroline who in her short intro presented well and looks to be a final four candidate.

 Caroline

Ari whittled  the field in his first rose ceremony a bit as we got back in our routine of rose ceremonies to cap off the night. 

The journey begins ….