"If you want to sing out , sing out"- Cat Stevens --- from the movie Harold and Maude

Bekah 

The math SAT scores are widely believed to be a good predictor of the ability to handle college level math. Many attribute high math SAT's to problem solving skills in systems, markets, engineering and the like. If we had two kids and one scored 680 and the other 380, there may be debates about the bias of the test  but the way to bet is on the 680 kid.

So if the  math SAT can serve as a predictor of problem solving skills and the like, what indicators do we have to predict relationship success to help our boy Ari on his  journey for love?

We all know that physical attraction is a big factor. We also know that attraction can overwhelm other considerations and lead to hasty conclusions.

For example, let’s review this bachelor exchange with a beautiful  “ Heidi Klum class”  contestant :

Bachelor :  "So, did you go to school out in California?"

“Heidi Klum Class”  chick :  "Well,I had  a little trouble finishing up school"

Bachelor : "Oh"

“Heidi Klum Class” chick : "Yeah, my teacher yelled at me for texting in class"

Bachelor :  "That is awful – the teacher should be fired immediately. " 

“Heidi Klum Class” chick : "Yeah ,  well that won’t be an issue because I took the axe for , you know, like fire emergencies …and I gave him a few whacks."

Bachelor: ( worried  tone )  "OMG  …were you hurt at all ?"

“Heidi Klum Class” chick : "No  I was fine although I did have to take out a couple other students who tried to interfere -and later  there was some chatter about my behavior being excessive."  

   

Bachelor :  ( sympathetically )  " Hey, anybody can have a tough day- can I give you this rose?"

Fortunately ,we have more than just looks  to work with in our mate selection process.  

This week Ari has scheduled a one on one date with Sienne.

Sienne

They have a standard bachelor one on one day which peaks at a dinner where the conversation sounds as if Sienne is on an interview.  From the conversation flow I am expecting  Ari to ask where she sees herself  five years or if she were an animal what would she be. Sienne gets a rose to  allow her to come back and play next week but I don’t see the glow from Ari or her when they are together. It is just a matter of when Ari puts a fork in her.

These one-on-one dates serve as “bridal interviews”. There is a lot of flying in helicopters and swimming in isolated bays off luxurious yachts because that is what most of do in our normal course of daily life.

Maybe these interviews should discuss how the contestants  blend on other indicators.

We all know that money often contributes to marital discord.  Maybe these interviews could cover how money is perceived. Are they frugal or do they have  bankruptcy  attorneys on speed dial?.

How about children?  Does our girl want 5 kids or does she  wear “Free Andrea Yates” T-shirts to picnics. ( you may recall Andrea Yates drowned her 5 kids in the tub). How about humor? -nothing like a good laugh to lighten the tone.  The one-on-ones seem to miss this opportunity  but they all seem to be compatible in flying private helicopters which is reassuring.  

But one predictor stands out as crucial and yet unpredictable. That predictor is timing . The players need to have timing in sync.  They need to be headed in the same direction at the same time.

Which brings us to the most interesting facet of Ari’s journey thus far.  Ari goes horseback riding at Lake Tahoe with our young contestant Bekah. By every action and word Bekah shows herself to be a free spirit type. She exudes high energy and enthusiasm. Youth has its strong suits.  

At dinner, Ari who is 36, finally asks Bekah  how old she is. Bekah tells Bachelor Nation she is 22. Ari is taken aback. At first as he looks to see if the FBI is lurking to check his actions out.  But now we all know the age difference is on the table.

I can see this exchange :

Bekah : "So how do you see a regular day for us   - say a Thursday?"

Ari:   hmm  before the kids would come along , I imagine after work ,we have a nice dinner- then maybe head out to walk the dog for a bit and come back and watch something on PBS   maybe some Queen Victoria . how do you see it?

 

Cathedral Rock in Sedona 

Bekah: "I see us ride up to Sedona to watch the sunset over the valley from Cathedral Rock . Then we have late dinner and go dancing till  2 or 3 in the morning. Then we head back up to the ridge and sleep out looking at the stars and listening to the wolves howl. At  sunrise we get up and climb one of the mountains- that’s my Thursday." 

Ari: ( squirming ) : "Well maybe we could watch  Ray Donovan ……."

Bachelor Nation would pick up that these two have a bit of a timing issue . Ari is ready for a phase with maybe kids and settling down while Bekah wants to spread her wings.

Movie fans may have seen a  delightful movie from the 70’s  Harold  and Maude. The plot revolves around the exploits of a young man  Harold Chasen (played by Bud Cort) who is intrigued with death. Harold drifts away from the life that his detached mother prescribes for him, and slowly develops a strong friendship  and eventually a  romantic relationship with a 79-year-old woman named Maude (Ruth Gordon)  who teaches Harold about living life to its fullest and that life is the most precious gift of all.  Talk about an age difference- 60 years!  . The movie has a scene where Maude  sings the Cat Stevens song  “ If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out" which is about being your authentic self.  Bekah is clearly a chick who “sings out”.

Despite his hesitation and pondering the difference in timing Ari persists and prods Bekah to respond if  she is ready to go forward with marriage at the end of the show or decide she isn’t ready and will break his heart.

Bekah stays in character and  responds she can’t assure him of anything . She could have of adopted  a conciliatory response  such as “ I wasn’t ready till I met you “ but she stayed authentic.  

So Bekah gets a rose and will move on to next week. She isn’t not going to be the final rose winner but she adds some sparkle to the journey.

Finally, Aril brings the troop of remaining contestants  to the forest for a little nature experience.as a group date.

The producers punish us by featuring Krystal in numerous shots whining about the other girls and just firmly establishing herself as this seasons villain. I decide if I were stranded on a desert island with Krystal I would be talking to the coconuts.

However , 

Kendall

During this segment though we get to meet Kendall- the taxidermist chick from California. It turns out she is a charmer and very natural in conversation – she is fun – and she moves up the leaderboard.